So much for Anonymity! Mrs Kelsey Visits Anonymous Baby Box Mothers or I Know Something That You Don’t Know!

Read this first. It speaks for itself

It’s no secret that Monica Kelsey, CEO/Founder of Safe Haven Baby Boxes, knows the identity of some of the “anonymous” mothers manipulated into dropping their babies into her money-maker boxes. She’s mentioned publicly that they contact her post-boxing to check on the welfare of their babies and later just to shoot the chat. According to her, one box mother volunteers for the organization and makes appearances at public events.  I was informed recently by an asset that another box mom volunteers her time to the cause. How many more are out there held hostage by SHBB Inc-facilitated Stockholm Syndrome?

With a couple of exceptions, the SHBB Inc social media fan club finds this  adopta-chummery “beautiful.” 

Class Bastard disagrees.

Of all the demeaning, insulting stories the SHBB Inc Mighty Wurlitzer has churned out over the years, the road trip visitation scenario is one of the most maddening and sickening.  This braggadocio reinforces our belief that Mrs. Kelsey, a card-carrying child supply marketeer, has no respect for the adoptee civil rights movement. Her post gives the middle finger to the millions of adopted people buried in the black hole of adoption anonymity and corruption. It’s a big -rub-in-the-face to all of us– a gleeful nhyah-nhyah d’ -nhyah-nhyah dance around those who fight her baby box blitzkrieg through the country.   I know something you don’t know.

We, of course, should just shut up and be “thankful” we weren’t dumpsterized or flushed. Your mother loved you so much that she didn’t murder you. 

This does not surprise us.

SHBB Inc already runs a private “voluntary” registry where box parents, propagandized to believe they have no reasonable options other than legal baby box dumping, can submit personal information about themselves, including their identification, to the company. That is, they can identify themselves and submit that information to the private corporation that weaponized their confusion and perceived “desperation”.  The company that convinced them to make a permanent solution for a temporary problem–a decision that holds dire consequences for the mother (it’s usually the mother) and child. that can rumble down for generations. It’s like adoption agencies “offering” counseling and therapy to “fix” the problems their business caused. I know something you don’t know.

Nothing in any SHBB law legalizes SHBB Inc impoundment of “confidential” information. The closest thing we have is the prohibition in Kansas against officials informing third parties, including SHBB Inc , when a baby is caught in a box.

In theory, a SHBB  Inc registry is not bad, but the legal and moral consequences of how to proceed with those files, under corpo leadership, not so much. What  Mrs Kelsey does or will do with the registry files is a mystery, especially because of her love affair with everything adoption. Granted, the SHBB registry form includes a checkbox of sorts to authorize release of information to the child when they become “a legal adult.” I wonder how many mothers have circled YES; thus, denying upfront their need for anonymity. (The form and other problems with the registry are discussed here.)

Historical Malfeasance

 The gross neglect of duty practiced by adoptacrats when it comes to releasing information to Class Bastard , birth and adoptive parents, and even by law and court order* is well-known.

Adoptee applications for information go unanswered.  Files are “lost.”  The adoption sphere is full of stories from birthparents learning that their letters, release documents, social and medical history updates, pictures, and even gifts meant for their children go missing and sometimes even destroyed.  Agencies demand payment in the thousands to locate files.  Many require adoptees, as if we are planning an ax massacre, to undergo paid  “counseling” with their own social workers (or one authorized by them) before we are deemed sane and safe enough to receive the information about ourselves that birth parents have authorized release. Even adoptees and parents in reunion are forced to endure go-along-to-get-along expense and humiliation so agencies can maintain their narcissistic stranglehold on the national adoption narrative, their hefty bank accounts, and our lives. I know something you don’t know.

Judging from the long history of adoption agency secrecy, shenanigans, file micro management AND mismanagement, and malfeasances of professional and legal responsibility, we have no confidence that SHBB Inc , a subset and friend of adoption agency and “professional” domination, will be any different.

There are probably other issues, but these come to mind immediately:

•  Will SHBB Inc pass its secret information files to box babies upon request when they reach the age of majority, or will it create conditions and restrictions?
• Will SHBB Inc charge for its information retrieval service?
• Will SHBB Inc require now adult boxees to undergo “therapy” from their staff “counselor” or some other “appropriate” source before they are allowed to receive their own information, even with  their birithparent(s) consent?
• What happens with those cases in Indiana where babies can legally be deported to the adoption black-hole and sent directly from box location to “forever family” without normal state knowledge and oversight?  (Currently, Indiana doesn’t even legally recognize the right to own our OBCs)
• Will secret files, if requested, be “lost” or destroyed with the perennial “fire at the courthouse?” excuse??”
• Will SHBB Inc refuse to comply with court orders to release files to individual adoptees, their legal representatives, state child welfare agencies, courts, or transfer files to another custodian?
• What happens to registry files if SHBB Inc shuts its doors?

Oh, the hypocrisy!

What is so sickening about this scenario is that Mrs Kelsey, who says she was abandoned 2 hours after birth, searched and somehow located her birthmother years later, and had a deep, rewarding relationship with her before she died. I’m happy she did that.  She knows her history and context good and bad. Presumably, she has her OBC from Ohio.  Yes!  Even legally and illegally abandoned infants are issued birth certificates that can contain important information.  

Yet, Mrs Kelsey holds ex parte information and perhaps even documents that her abandonment laws legally withhold from the boxed babies that are adopted through her insta-family child redistribution system. Extrapolation: she continues her “for-me-but-not for-thee message.  She has her records, history, and reunion that the rest of us don’t deserve to access and enjoy.  I know a something you don’t know. Let’s twerk!

@safehavenbabyboxes

Just hanging out at Bloomington Fire Dept! #monicakelsey #safehavenbabyboxes #safehaven #bloomington

♬ original sound – Salt-N-Pepa Official

The whole thing reeks of stories adopted adults tell of visiting their adoption agency, where a social worker, elbows braced over the file on their desk, gloats” Sorry. I can;’tl you, The details of your adoption are none of your business. We have to protect your mother, ” or some other blahblahblah excuse, even when said mother is sitting there, too, demanding the file be released. I know something you don’t know!

SHBB Inc and box moms should not and cannot be barred from having a weird relationship, It’s ridiculous to argue otherwise. The collection and impoundment of box baby personal data, however, works as a shadow  ex parte  adoption/sealed records system with no regulation or transparency. The idea that Mrs Kelsey is hobnobbing around the country with moms and believes that she is the identity gatekeeper is outrageous. I know something you don’t know.

I wonder how these moms will feel a few years from now. No studies have been made so far about SHBB use  and outcomes in the US and Canada, much less the mothers who use them. Any chance of researching right now is pretty far-fetched. since the box system works anonymously (except for the SHBB Inc  apparatchiki,  and is a Big Fat Secret. I know something that you don’t know.

If such studies are made  20 years from now, I expect that the results will reflect what sociologist Gretchen Sisson published last year in her ground-breaking book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and Priviledge of American Motherhood: box mom frustration, regret, and anger over the loss of their children and how they were used to promote someone else’s  personal and political agenda.

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*I know a Florida adoptee who was refused access to her OBC and other records despite a court order. for release.

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Written during the London Writers Hour